How to support your daughter in labor.

A sweet grandmother was invited to her daughter’s birth and she reached out to me to see how she might best support her daughter during labor. Here are a few ideas.  

·   Birth can be intense and even uncertain at times. Believe in your daughter’s ability to deliver her baby.

·   There comes a time in every labor when the birthing mother needs reassurance from the people around her. She may say, “I can’t do this anymore.” She may wonder “How much longer? Support people can gently take captive every negative thought with words like: “You are doing it!” “I believe in you.” “You’re doing so well.”

·   Be present. Studies show that the supportive presence of another woman in labor can decrease the length of labor by 25%, women have a more positive birth experience, and babies have higher Apgar scores.

·   Offer gentle encouragement. Praise helps women know they are doing good work even when the work is hard. “I’m so proud of you.” “You are so strong.” “Your baby is safe and you are already a good mother.”

·   Help her remember to breathe slowly and deeply to relax.

·   It’s okay to keep the tea brewing, tidy the kitchen, and prepare healthy snacks (with mild smells) for everyone.

·   Choose to not be offended if she asks you to stop a particular behavior. She is likely overwhelmed with the sensations and emotions of birth. She doesn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Comforts will change during birth; sometimes she will want people close, other times she will feel overheated and want space.

·   Offer silent and spoken prayers as you feel comfortable.

·   Before the birth, consider your own birth stories and fears. Try to leave the fears outside of the house. Nervous energy can interrupt the flow of birth and can even cause labor stalls. Take some time before the birth to lay your fears before the Lord and ask him to fill you with His peace.

·   Try to remember what makes your daughter feel cared for and safe. She will be comforted by these behaviors.

·   Look after older children and pets, if needed.

·   You can write a note a head of the birth to tell her how proud you are of her; give it to her before or after delivery.